Please Stop the Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey92 Deep Thoughts like these:
Sometimes I worry what kind of a world we are leaving to the bands of roving mutants who will inherit it.
I wish there was something called trial by ants, because at the end the guy would say, “The ants have spoken.”
I wouldn’t want to wind up hooked to a bunch of wires and tubes, unless somehow the wires and tubes were keeping me alive.
It’s never too late to start doing what you really want to do.
Wait, how old are you?
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Jack Handey Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey. If you drop your keys into molten lava just let 'em go 'cause, man, they're gone. Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the tresure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know. It was a little long, though.
See more ideas about Deep thoughts, Deep thoughts jack handy and Jack a big list of those famous "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey"; I picked my favorites.
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Skeletons Years Deep Thought. Dance Boxing Ballet. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver. Dream Selfish Drinking.
Jack Handey is a solidly built man of 64 with a swoop of graying hair; when he smiles, his teeth are blindingly white. Jack and Marta have been together for 36 years. Handey is familiar with the real Hawaii; he recounted a memorable trip the couple took to Kauai, in which a beautiful day of snorkeling ended at nightfall with hundreds of cockroaches emerging from every corner of their rental house and swarming over everything they owned. The novel also functions as a kind of thought exercise. These are real jokes, man. This idea — the notion of real jokes and the existence of pure comedy — came up again and again when I asked other writers about Handey.
The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I guess some things never leave you. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess.